Sinking deep, deep down ...

Into the darkest depths, the starless night.
A sailor lost on sea with nothing to lead him.
Oh, what a dreadful soul.

Today I met with my GAPSY-lady

She suggested therapy. No, she wants me to seek therapy again. But ... I don't want.
I need the help, I know. But I don't want to open up again. It hurts. It scares me.
I already opened up to someone I'm happy with, someone I can trust.
But he is not a therapist and I'm aware of that. Still, visiting a stranger, build up trust just to lose it again? No. Not again.
I'm sorry.

“You can tell how dangerous a person is by the way they hold their anger inside themselves quietly.”

Update

So, friends, close ones and loved ones suggested to write a diary about my thoughts, what happens to me and what I think of.
I have this blog. I remembered this blog. And I'll use this blog.
Why?
Because the internet is anonymous. It's safe. A silent voice is heard.
I'll use this blog for my thoughts again. But have a fair warning:

This blog might contain triggers for:

• Depressions
• Self-Harm
• Suicidal thoughts
• split personalities/alters